By Ian Windsor
The Fatherhood Foundation is arguably the most respected organization in this country that espouses family values and the critical role good fathers play in maintaining those values. I am especially heartened that the FF affirms and supports the new outcasts of our affluent, egalitarian society, namely the single dads doing it tough.
As a family advocate I have always presented 'the best interests of the children argument' in Family Law inquiries. I have never mentioned the needless suffering caused to abandoned fathers for fear of being branded one of those 'angry white males' or worse still, 'fathers' rights' activists. Like all other human beings, fathers have needs that must be acknowledged and human rights that must be enforced. No one, including the Family Court, has the right to take children away from their father for no good reason.
This precept must be enshrined in hard Family Law legislation.
I can categorically say that for a father to lose a child through separation and divorce causes almost as much grief as losing a child through death. I can also categorically say that in custody disputes where a mother won't agree to a shared custody arrangement for no good reason, her love for the children is far less than that of the father's.
In far too many cases access fathers are vilified (PAS) and denied visitation to their own children by delinquent custodial mothers. This further adds to the father's grief especially when in later years he learns second or third hand of his pregnant teenage daughter's drug addiction and his unemployed son's death in a road accident.
I've fought long and hard for the rights of children to have fathers and for the fathers to be allowed to share the responsibility of child rearing after separation - but to no avail. The government's re-iteration of the failed 1996 amendments that entrenches the mother custody, father liability model, is unconscionable to say the least.
We would be a far better society with healthier children if separated fathers were allowed to share child rearing instead of being forced to pay alimony through the CSA for visitation rights
that the Family Court has no intention of properly enforcing.
I see the pain and suffering of too many good men and their children and I simply ask, 'When are we going to stop vilifying good men?When are we going to stop blaming good men for all relationship failures along with all the other ills of the world.'? And above all, 'When are good women going to stand by good men and turn their backs on their delinquent sisters?'
Until this happens we are left with a failed Family Law system to deal with. I may be able to help some deserted and abused husbands. Please contact me if you think I can help, even if it's just for a re-assuring voice at the end of the phone line.
Ian Windsor
http://www.windsorparalegal.com.au/