Associates of Kids In Distress Australia Inc
Nothing stirs up passions more than the controversy generated when parents are at war over the custody of a child.
Affection, money, power and revenge. All these aspects are covered in depth by the writers but scant mention is made of the most important aspect - the well being of the children emotionally ahd physically and how to properly determine these issues.
Most submission from "fathers" have a major focus's on the dollar value of parenting and the perceived financial bonus's that goes to ex wives who 'keep' the kids. Yet many single mothers and children live in poverty. Many receive nothing in property settlement or child support, as there was no property to divide and the father is unemployed or able to manipulate his financial affairs. In these cases sole residency is hardly a financial windfall.
"Mothers" and protective parents of both genders speak of fear of abuse for themselves and the children and of ongoing harrasment - yet for many, the conflict does reduce and arrangements become workable once the tension of the marital relationship lessens due to no longer living under the same roof. For some others it does not. It is in these situations that shared parenting or high level contact, although fraught with risk, is we believe, erroneously enforced by the courts because the abusive behaviour is unable to be proved to the high standard required.
Most seek and manage successfully parenting arrangements that suit their own individual situations. Some seek shared parenting to reduce child support and to obtain partial family tax benefits. Some refuse to pay and enforce their right to contact regardless. Some by choice, abandon their children totally. Some refuse to give up power and control over ex partners and children they regard as property.
Most writers seem to agree that beneficial and conflict free shared parenting will not be achieved legislatively. Legislation can only guide and encourage those who are willing and able to try this option. For those where conflict and abuse is endemic, enforced shared parenting may well be more traumatic than remaining in the abusive relationship.