Domestic Violence is hard to recognise

Associates of Kids In Distress Australia Inc

It is basic philosophy of International human rights is that we should all live free from fear, harassment and discrimination.

Domestic Violence is hard to recognise. It looks like anger, not violence

The fact is that many Australian women live their lives in fear of violence from men, simply because they are women. Men suffer violence too but within the home, it is nowhere near the level or severity that is perpetrated against women.

The high levels of male to male violence also causes awful impacts and serious concern. Power and dominance is often part of that type of violence, but it is not really about 'gender violence'.

In homes where domestic violence occurs, children are also at high risk of suffering direct physical, sexual, emotional, financial and social abuse.

Whether or not they are directly physically abused, children who witness domestic violence suffer significant emotional and psychological trauma said to be similar to those that directly experience the abuse.

The impact on the mother of any violence means that mother may be less emotionally available to the children, and the children may feel less secure, less safe and vulnerable. The impact of maternal violence upon the father would also have serious effect upon the children.

What is abuse? Is it a very high expectation of excellence, co-operation and confirmity? Is punishment for failing to meet parental requirements discipline or violence? Who draws the line? Some children exhibit the impact of harm by becoming perfectionists and people pleasers in direct response to a fear of failing brought on by exacting, punitive standards set by a dominant parent.

For the many caught in violence, there still exists an ignorance about how to escape it safely, a shortage of places to escape to, and an often victim-unfriendly Criminal Justice System.

The real questions should ask 'Why are we so violent?' and 'What systems support the violence?'

We all need to stand shoulder to shoulder and condemn violence whoever does it, and until we do, the very real violence being committed against, and in front of our boys and our girls will continue to reinforce gender and violence as a way of life.

Society needs to support the victims, and not be sabotaged by those whose limited agenda values one type of victim over another or the systems that let it happen.