Dear Minister,
I feel I must tell you my story.
I would like to express my feelings of how I was treated in The Family Law Court system.
My daughter and I were unfairly and badly treated in your current system.
The judge sided with the father immediately, although I was originally told that Judge X was opposed to violence and aggression, especially in front of the children. He surely didn't prove this to be the case during my court cases.
My daughters father, yelled and abused me whenever it was my turn to speak although these were questions directly asked of me by the judge himself. He was never made accountable, and no one took any notice of his outbursts and sometimes attempts at a threat.
I have evidence and affidavits that are proof of a history of domestic violence and none of this was taken into account instead I was immediately labelled a passive aggressive mother and threatened to have my precious baby taken away from me and given to him, this was all said in front of him, the perpetrator. My case isn't the only one that has taken place like this.
We signed into The Children's Cases Program where there are no affidavits or witnesses, I truly regret that now, I wasn't aware of that fact before signing.
I was treated like a criminal and felt I was on trial for murder. This is how I was treated in your court of law.
I would like to know why a mother who is only trying to protect her innocent and defenceless child is not believed. This is discrimination at its highest level.
My right to protect my child was taken away from me.
Immediately the judge decided that I was female, that I was a mother, that this was Family Law Court, so, therefore I was lying or at the least my child was making up stories.
Children don't make up stories of violence like this. They must see violence to be able to recount the events. My daughter doesn't pretend to be stressed and fearful. She is only four years old.
Protective mothers need a break. Why is it assumed that I am only trying to prevent access. I am only trying to prevent my daughter from being abused by an adult. If there is a pattern of behaviour why is this not investigated properly. Why are the mothers of this society not believed and protected against abuse.
I am a youth worker and work with disadvantaged young people. I studied Certificate IV and a Diploma in Youth Work. During my studies we worked extensively on The Child Protection Act. It wasn't until I was in court that I realised that there is no such thing. It is a fallacy. There is not protection for our children. It is, actually a joke.
I soon realised once in court that there was no protection for my daughter. I trusted and hoped that I would be heard, but no one listened. I thought that justice would be done. There is no justice. I now know that I am going through a legal process, not a justice system.
I have been awarded a Community Volunteers Award I am an upstanding citizen and deserved this award although I felt it wasn't necessary, when I was only fulfilling what I love and enjoy. I am well respected in my community and in my hard work as a Youth worker. Judge X doesn't know me, he doesn't know my children and doesn't know the father of my daughter, how dare he accuse me of being a passive aggressive mother and a dysfunctional parent, and more than anything a liar.
I wouldn't be able to do this work that I do if this was a true statement.
I assumed that a judge was to be an active listener; he was to have empathy and sympathy and to make an informed judgement. Never have I experienced this in any way shape or form. Judge X didn't listen to me, he condemned me before I was finished speaking and branded me a liar. This was just because I am female and a mother and I was telling him something against the father.
This doesn't constitute that I am lying especially when I have proof.
He should take a step back and say, well maybe this needs to be investigated. Not every case is the same. It just appears to always be black and white in this system. The male should be warned that he is being watched. This and only this would prevent my precious little girl from being at risk of harm. I tried to explain this in court but I wasn't believed. How does he know that this isn't true, how can he presume that I'm lying, he doesn't know the facts, he didn't even want to know the facts. He didn't want to look at the evidence. In hindsight I felt he didn't care.
In saying all of this, on the other occasions when I attended BB Local Court and was heard by Judge Z regarding my many Avo's against the same father. I was treated fairly, he listened, he sympathized and he did the right thing by my family.
We all felt protected and acknowledged.
I would like to know why the children of this country, the little adults of our future are not protected.
This is Australia, I thought, I truly felt like I was in a third world country, or back in the days of when women didn't matter, and men ruled the land. Is this the case. Or is this a democratic society that we live in.
I am so disillusioned. What will happen to my family.
I have now been forced to make a decision that I would go into court and not defend my little child anymore, as I ran the high risk of loosing her. I sat there and said everything was fine and that he could have her as much as he desired.
I know I have not done the right thing by my daughter, I know I have failed to protect her as a good mother. Your system has failed me. This country has failed me. I was always proud to be an Australian. Now I feel ashamed to say I am an Aussie.
He got away with this and was sent a clear message by Judge X that he could do what he likes to his own child because no one in power will take any notice whatsoever.
The fact that he is a father doesn't make him a good person and someone who will look after the better interests of my child. In fact I believe he is very driven by revenge. Our court system allows him to do this.
Six weeks ago I had a serious allegation made against my daughter's father. I have been told that he molested 3 or 4 young girls from the age of 7 years old in New Zealand many years ago and was in serious trouble.
Again the system won't protect my daughter. We need safety while this allegation is investigated. But no, of course not, the Police must go to him and tell him first before they can investigate. Access won't be suspended while this process is taking place.
He has threatened to abduct her in the past and is the holder of four passports to different countries. He is now given the opportunity to flee with my little girl as a last resort if he feels the threat of having his unsupervised access suspended pending an investigation. This is all wrong, again, I am left wondering what to do and not finding any help available to protect us. He is very aggressive and could harm my daughter. I want to know why I can't keep her safe, I need help from my country.
Please I implore you to change our laws to give our young children more protection against abuse within the family. We need to be believed, our children need to be believed. Please give the children of the future a voice. Listen to their cries for help.
I have enclosed a newspaper article which is so similar to what happened to me.
I fear it is happening everywhere and it must change.
TD