Full copies of this report are available from the library of most Family Courts of Australia.
Executive Summary Extract
Most Traumatic Period
The most traumatic period for the respondents of both the 1984 sample and the 1994 sample was at the time of separation . This feature was significant in each sample and across each of the scales of psychological wellbeing, health complaints/symptoms and practical living problems. This factor highlights the need for services for men to focus on this particular time period before men may choose to shut down their hurt by suppressing or externalising it. (page 3)
General Conclusions
When factors from each of the 1984, the 1994 and the follow-up samples were combined it was established that living alone was the main predictive factor of who would find coping with marital separation difficult. It is this factor which therefore needs to be given close attention by counsellors and those involved with assisting men to cope with separation.
The data from the samples surveyed in 1994 indicated that there has been little change in men's attitudes and feelings about relationships over the past decade. Further the data suggested that there may even be a trend towards women being blamed to a greater extent by men for their relationship ending in the 1990s than in the 1980s. This trend was not surprising for the researcher, whose work as a counsellor within the Family Court suggests that men are now more likely to verbalise their anger and distress, about losing their marriages, towards their ex-wife and the Family Court in particular and governments and society in general, This trend underlines the importance of services to be attention to the needs of men in this situation and to provide them with the time, consideration and opportunities to be heard and understood.
It was evident that the majority of respondents had found ways and means to deal with the loss of a relationship, with many of them moving into new relationships. However, while the respondents reported that they were confident about coping with life some one to two years after separating, this research also raised the question of underlying feelings and attachments about their past relationship remaining with the men for many years after separation.
In the 1994 sample there were indications of more men having problems with health complaints/symptoms and finance which may suggest higher levels of stress in the 1990s. However, this is an area which requires more investigation as it may also be the case that in the 1990s more men are prepared to acknowledge personal problems than in the 198Os.
Of significance in this research was the extent to which the men valued their relationships and their children. Unfortunately it- would seem they did not spend the effort and time necessary to maintain and nurture the relationship prior to separation, or maybe that they did not know how to or that they were reluctant or unwilling to seek outside assistance. For men, one of the great challenges is to reconsider and possibly redevelop their working and social lives so that their relationships and families receive the priority necessary for ongoing nurture and maintenance. (page 4)